Ramadhan month has finally ended last two days. I wish I wouldn't ever have to say goodbye. I don't want to. I just wish Ramadhan month is 2 months in a row. I don't feel satisfied because I haven't really achieve my target that is to change for the better and hoped that it will last until forever and maybe better but I didn't. I did a lot of bad things during this month, I didn't treat family well,esp my mom. I said bad things about my friends. I didn't go tarawikh as frequent as I did last year, I didn't get to fast everyday in the month well, that is for a reason. Therefore, I felt really dissapointed with myself. I didn't really really appreciate this month. I didn't really acknowledge it. I didn't really get the chance to do some good deeds. How awful I felt I am. How I wish I could rewind back to where Ramadhan was about to started. It has already ended, no point of regretting it now. As the Malay saying goes 'Rice has turned into Porridge'. (direct translation) I don't know if i'm able to meet the next Ramadhan.
As for this Syawal, I just want to appologise for all, when I say ALL means EVERY SINGLE even the tiny weeny lil mistake. I am so deeply sorry. I can't be absolutely nice, good but I'll try to be better. I'll try to forgive and forget. I'll try to be a better servant to Allah, I'll try to be a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend and lastly a better human being. I know, the word 'try' itself needs a lot of effort and i'm trying to gain the effort. InsyaAllah, if God, Allah is willing.