Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Is it fact or low-seld esteem?

Lately, I've been depressed. I would always turned to the pessimistic side of me. But sometimes, I really had this negative thinking inside of me. I think i'm such a loser and there's nothing i'm good at. I know, this is not good. Everyone said that u must be optimistic. But I tried, I was optimistic at first but then, i put my hopes up too high that makes me lost everything.
I know deep down inside that I have confidence in me but the reality have shown to me that I'm nothing.
For example, my academic/studies were not that bad, but at the same time I'm trying to balance myself by trying to be good at sports too. There only one sport i think that I'm good and would have the chance to excel which is voleyball. I really have a high interest in that particular sport. But u know, just having the interest is not enough, u have to train hard to be really super good at it. U know what? I've tried my best. I trained, came to every practice. But I'm still not in that level yet. I know it takes time and lots of effort. But one thing I know that I really have commitments. I really want it soo bad. These words from the coach, would let u down. But it's actually for your own good. It pushes you to work harder and be better.
That's just one of the example.
There's more actually things that I think I suck at. I don't know, but today, I think I'm such a loser. There's nothing I'm good at.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

......(untitled post)

hi there, it's been months since my last post. I'm so sorry for that. My life is quite hectic nowadays. It's the school holidays now. I just finished my first test. I admit that I didn't do my best. I'm not really prepared. As aspected, my results were just average. I got a C for physics, A- for add maths. That's one of the lowest grade i got.
I'm considered an average in my class as all my classmates are all bunch of smarty pants.

Ouh and I just came back from camping 2 days ago. It's was reallyreally one of those exhausting camp i've ever had. Until now, I'm still tired. I get sleepy all the time, today,yesterday and even rite now. But, i'm glad that I did go to the camp, as it was a really exciting, worth-keeping experience I've ever had. And i did overcome the fear of darkness that i had all this time. During the camp, the second night, I have to walk alone, ALONE in the quite, dark, bushy lil jungle for about 20 mins. I really hate being in the dark, i even sleep with the night light on. The camp was overall awesome! I had a greaaaaat experience.

The next day after camping, I went for a lil picnic with some of my closest friends. They were great! Some of them, just came back from boarding schools. And we spent time together, sharing stories about their new schools.
I was still tired after the camp that i slept at the musollah(surau) while waiting for my friends doinf their prayers.

And today, wednesday. It is a totally one of my laziest day. I have lots of stuff to be done. But i don't know, i'm always not in a mood to do anything today.
And i'm having a lil headache right now. I hope tomorrow will be better than today and I won't be as lazy as today.